Valley of Fire

Nate and I just got back from a fun trip to Valley of Fire. Such a simple place but it is close by and we don't have much time to leave town, so it worked out great. We brought Vanessa so it was her first camping trip and she did so good! She's so cute! Snuggled in my sleeping bag, was polite to other campers, that fearless, little mountaineer. I love going camping with Nate because he takes such good care of me and is always so prepared. I always know I will be comfortable and when I want to come home we can. 

Friday night we went on two hikes and then made cheeseburgers, listened to the BYU basketball game a bit, and then had smores. We watched Secretariat. The weather was great. Just a really nice day overall.

This morning we did a few more little hikes and then came home. We were home and clean by noon and it was just such a nice trip. We slept all afternoon and little puppy is still exhausted. Thank goodness for spring break. 

Is it May yet?

The grocery shopping is finally done,
A task to me that is not fun.
The oil's changed, my lesson's planned,
This Saturday was not that grand.

These tasks mundane, and far from great
Lead me to appreciate
The food I have and car that drives,
The chance to bless some peoples' lives.

But there is one thing on my mind,
It bothers me, that I'm not kind.
With time for everyone but me,
Nate has so much charity.

So starving for attention I,
Selfishly let time waste by.
Until the day of rest arrives,
Where we do not have separate lives.

Although I drag my feet and whine,
I am really doing fine.
Just overwhelmed with what's ahead,
I think, for me, it's time for bed.

Trophy Husband

Nate is going to get a huge trophy when he gets to heaven. He puts up with a lot. But this is not just a one sided tolerance, you see there are a few things I endure as well. So lately, I have been grumpy, and lazy and tired. I have not wanted to make dinner (though the last two nights I did accomplish such a feat), I complain, and whine, and lay around while Nate takes Vanessa one walks and cheerfully goes about his ways.

But today. Oh my goodness. This cheerful, cute, nice, sincere adorable husband that I have came in while I was sleeping on the couch. He goes and makes himself a lunch, and then sits down and starts stirring strawberry syrup into his milk. Oh my gosh.... he was so loud! Just clinking the spoon against the sides of the glass over and over again.... FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES! I was so angry. Then, he leaves his dishes in the sink, and says it was because he didn't want to wake me up. RIGHT....

I tell Nate every day that I am going to go to the store and buy some food. I never do. I always intend to though. I am sincere in my intent though my statements usually end up being lies. He lets me whine to him and is always so happy and nice. He lets be be lazy and never judges me. He is such a good husband. I have no idea why he likes me. Our dating history should have driven him away, but he stuck around. Let's see if he can handle the next few months. Yikes.

Argh!!!

I want to vent right now. But I can't really, because I don't want to complain. But gosh!!! I am so not happy right now! Yes I know I have a wonderful life, a great husband and puppy, a great job ect... but sheesh! I am so depressed right now! There are a few reasons for this, but mostly I feel very deeply sad because my mom left today. I have been super sick lately so my mom helped me drive back from CA. And she basically did everything for me the last 3 days and I was so in control and happy and calm. And now! She is gone and I feel like my world is falling apart. A little dramatic I know, but that is how I feel.

I want to be done with school. Yes done! I am ready to move on, but things are out of my control, and just slowly creeping along. I am tired of being by myself all day everyday and never getting to sleep with or even talk to my husband. I am tired of always cleaning and doing laundry and doing everything I am suppose to do. It is neverending, and I know that is just life, but I am exhausted.  I am mustering up all of my energy right now just to go and return a redbox movie that my mom and I rented last night. Help!! =(

The Adventures of Work / Life

For my job, we do home assessments. We do this so that we can identify safety issues and health hazards in the home so that we can give people what they need in order to fix those problems. And let me tell you, you never know what you are going to get in these homes. We work on a referral basis and get the worst homes in Vegas. Literally.

A dead bird by the water heater, locked refrigerators in every room, pot gardens growing in the laundry room, a bottle with pee in it, dog poop on the carpet, clutter beyond belief, and roaches the size of mice are just a few things I have come across the past few days. Very very gross, and very sad. I am amazed and very saddened by the way people live here. Most of these people have substance abuse problems and it is just very sad to think about the negative impact of drugs and alcohol on peoples' lives. They have been robbed of so much happiness and good in their lives because of stupid mistakes and habits.

So I have been thinking about my life in comparison to the lives of others. This is mostly because of Facebook, not because of work, but I see profiles of old friends and people from high school who are doing NOTHING with their lives. I am just an average person with no strong abilities or talents yet I seem to have accomplished some cool stuff. I mean I graduated from college, did a study abroad, traveled the world, went on a mission, got married, am about to get my Masters and I'm 24. That should be pretty normal, right? My mission was a two year break, and I am still "ahead" of most people that I know. I am so grateful for my life.

To many people, I am sure I seem like a total loser. I mean, I've never drank alcohol, or smoked a cigarette, or gone to any crazy parties or anything. When people ask me what I want to do with my degree when I am done with school, once in a while a make up something, but usually I say "nothing". I want to be a stay at home mom someday. I am glad my husband is supportive of that and will provide for our family so that I can play with my kids all the time and read to them and teach them. Family is the most important thing right? Why would I want anything else?  Perhaps my perspective is one that makes me seem sheltered or naive, but I don't feel that way at all. I feel the exact opposite in fact.

I guess what I am getting at is I am just so thankful for my life and everything I have and I know it all comes from just living the principles of the gospel. For those outside the church, "living the gospel" basically means just living in a way that would make God happy, or trying to at least. That is where true happiness is found. Happiness that lasts longer than an hour or a night. Happiness that is almost permanent. I would not switch lives with anyone. So thankful for my life.

I feel as though I'm getting thinner,
As I'm waiting for this dinner,
My puppy lays on Nate's lap,
He's trying hard not to nap.

It's only Tuesday, my oh my,
It is possible that I might die.
11 home inspections just this week,
Time for other stuff I seek.

Available at any time,
Was one mistake that was mine,
For now my schedule's booked all day,
Monday clear through Friday.

So when I am suppose write,
my thesis, time is getting tight.
The changes that I need to make,
Hang over me, keep me awake.

So for the day I do await,
When I will final graduate,
And I can spend my time on the,
Things that matter more to me.

But there is still a ray of hope,
Some thoughts always help me to cope.
In San Diego I'll soon be,
With lots and lots of company.

What a day

Black and white, night and day,
What a day it was today.
My presentation went real well,
At least from what I could tell.

But there was one who had to be
Difficult and hard on me.
A member of my committee,
A friend? More like an enemy.

But there was nothing I could do,
So I listened through and through,
Do this and that, I wrote them down,
Her criticism brought a frown.

Frustrated beyond belief,
I could not wait til I could leave.
Comments that she could have said
Weeks ago, raced through my head.

I passed of course, the page was signed,
But I was not feeling kind.
To my car I quickly went,
Where I could pray and I could vent.

I came home to my pup,
Right away my mood was up.
Nate came home and said to me,
"Let's go change and go hiking".

And so we got all changed and ate,
And headed to our hiking date.
From that time on the day was great,
So grateful for my pup and Nate.